I’m a bad, bad, man…

Another example of weird things that parenthood does to your outlook. Yesterday was my daughters 6 month checkup with the pediatrician. My wife specifically requested my presence at this particular appointment due to the fact that the little midget had to get some more shots. I was fortunate enough to not be able to make it the last time due to work. However, this time it was adamant, I was supposed to be there.

So, I go to the appointment. I have to try VERY hard not to make any smart ass comments that compare this event to the times we take our beagle to the vet. Somehow, I dont think my wife would be too amused. Since I do have to sleep sometime while in her company, I keep my mouth shut.

The visit starts off well enough; pediatrician comes in, pokes, prods and then profoundly declares “Yep, looks good” Now, first of all, I have to be thankful that the pediatrician is a female. I dont know if I could handle some dude poking my daughter in various places and making a statement like that. The Doc sticks around a few moments and answers a few questions, and then she’s out the door quick as she can.

In comes the nurse with the needles. Now I realize that the pediatrician doesnt want to be the “bad guy”, so she has a nurse do her dirty work. She comes in bearing a tray with cotton swabs and 4 (yes, 4) syringes. Before I can even start to feel sorry for the little midget, the nurse tells my wife and I to hold her down.

I beg your pardon??

Now, I’m not an idiot. I know the deal behind shots, I know they arent fun, and they tend to hurt a bit. I also know that upon a 6 month old getting these shots, there is going to be a fair amount of screaming involved. However, when you have a child, you instinctually do everything within your power to PREVENT him/her from harm. Yet, somehow here I am, holding my daughter still while the nurse treats her like a human dart board. After the first stick, I could just see those tears starting to form and that face scrunched up in what looked like those bitter beer commercials. If she could talk, I am thoroughly convinced that she would look at my wife and me and say “Why!?”

One of the most gut-wrenching moments in my life. (and after seeing a few episodes of American Idol, that’s saying something).

So the nurse finishes her voodoo work, and tells us to pick her up. She need not have said anything because I was only a hairs breath from knocking her and my wife over in my rush to do just that. The nurse leaves not even seeing the murderous glares I was giving her as she went. Meanwhile, my wife has that look said “See, thats why…”

So, today I get a call and my wife tells me that our little midget is not herself. Instead of being all smiles in the morning like she usually is, all that was there is a pretty flat expression. Now, this is MY kid we’re talking about here, deviant in the making…

… I wonder if I should be worried?


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