Crossroads

Everyone has that one critical moment in the past. A sort of crossroad where we can identify that had we made one choice one way, our lives would have turned out in a different way than it is now. Numerous people ponder upon these crossroads with simply rueful smile, while still others brood over them, paying more consideration to the past to the ultimate detriment of the present.

I had a surprising occasion this past week that led me to reflect a great deal on the question of past choices, and the divergent paths that one can take based on them. It’s inevitable that as you get older you will have more of these crossroads to reflect upon and it’s challenging to walk in the midst of these moments of past remembrance without an overwhelming sense of “what if?”

It’s in our nature to fixate on the negative characteristics of these kinds of things. By negative, I refer to something that might have been lost or sacrificed as a result of a choice. For some, it could have been a job, or a substantial amount of money. Others might have found fame had they elected another way. Many have lost people close to them to these virtual crossroads. The typical desire is to wish for a return to that time and remedy what we feel is a misstep, hopeful that it would have eventually led us down an entirely different, and better path. I used to think like this, before my perception of these things changed.

My history is strewn with errors, and had I been wiser at the time, the choices made would have been wholly different. However, were I able to effect such personal changes I would not be where I am today. I believe it’s possible to regret the loss or sacrifices that were made by taking one path, but not regret in any way the ultimate outcome. I’ll not regret the mistakes of the past for the merits of the present.

So we bemoan many of our crossroads, wishing to go back and put them right in the hopes that it would lead to a “better life”. I’ve come to understand that there is no better life, nor is there a worse life. There is just life, the present manifestation of what we have made of it, regardless of right or wrong.

Life today may not be what we intended, but maybe the present is a better plan than any we could ever conceive.

So I think about my past and the choices made, and I think about the future and choices yet to come…..

…I’m good with it.