Excuse me while I whine for a moment

“The creative person basically has two kinds of jobs: One is the sexy, creative kind. Second is the kind that pays the bills. Sometimes the task in hand covers both bases, but not often. This tense duality will always play center stage. It will never be transcended.”

–Hugh Macleod, How To Be Creative: 7. Keep your day job., 08-22-04

I envision that somewhere there’s a dingy, smoke filled room where as yet unidentified people sit at a table and conspire against me. I say this, because in the last few weeks, numerous things have entered the retail market, ostensibly designed with the sole purpose of my distraction. Three books, a couple of movies, and a video game that I’m sure is the only sanctioned form of digital narcotic in the world, are all newly available. They crook a gnarled finger at me, enticing me onward and bidding me to forsake my other pursuits.I’ve been attempting to recollect the days of yore, when I had more time at my disposal. It used to be that I would find myself sitting on my couch, wondering just what in the hell there was to do. Now, it appears that I’ve no shortage of things to do, whether I want to do them or not.

This weekend I’m starting on the big project. I describe it as such because of the literal enormity of it. Relocating my studio from a small bedroom downstairs into the garage is going to be no small thing. First and foremost the garage needs to be excavated. If you saw the state of my garage at the moment, you would at once understand that I’m indeed using the appropriate term. After that is the painstaking process of moving all my stuff from one room to another. It’s almost mind boggling the amount of things one person can accumulate over a short time period.

Why the change? One of the things I learned last week is that when working with oil paints, there really are no shortcuts. I’d initially planned on using a safer, water soluble paint. Alas, after a short period of time, the “imitation” ones began to feel like just that. Consequently, I’m back to doing what I’d hoped to avoid; having solvents and paints with toxic substances in the house. If that’s to be the case, then to the garage I must go. It’s not as though I’m being banished by the queen; rather I’m imposing a sort of self-exile.

My creative juices have definitely gotten an early start this year. Normally I start getting drawing/painting ideas after we are well into the autumn season. However, since the class last week, those ideas have already begun to flood my brain. The most annoying part is that they seem to come to me the most frequently while I’m at work. Consequently, I have to keep a collection of rough stick figure drawings and written descriptions for later use.

It’s difficult to describe, but it occasionally feels though I’m trying to serve two masters. On one side is the logical side of my brain, the part that allows me to crawl into the depths of computer code and enjoy my stay while I’m there. The other side is the creative part of my brain, reminding me that what I really prefer to be doing is sitting at my drawing table. The most damning part of the contest is that there really is no contest. In the end, practicality rules the day, and the logical computer coder will prevail. It’s what allows me to remain financially solvent, provide for my family, and at times, be miserable.


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